Welcome to a new Sitcom Tuesday! This week, we’re continuing our coverage of Two And A Half Men (2003-2015, CBS), which is currently available on DVD and Peacock!
Two And A Half Men stars JON CRYER as Alan, ASHTON KUTCHER as Walden, and ANGUS T. JONES as Jake. With CONCHATA FERRELL as Berta, COURTNEY-THORNE SMITH as Lyndsey, and HOLLAND TAYLOR as Evelyn.
At the end of Season Nine, Jake joined the military, bumping his status down to recurring in Ten — and often only for short scenes where he Skypes his father. (He then departs officially in this year’s finale, following some negative comments Angus T. Jones made about the series.) This effectively means that most episodes in Season Ten don’t live up to the Two And A Half Men title and the situation it suggests. Accordingly, it’s impossible for this collection to be a decent sample of the series. Of course, Nine left a lot to be desired as well, largely because the Walden character, already a comedown from Charlie due to his weaker personal bonds, also didn’t get his strong initial definition applied very much in story. Oh, his childlike immaturity popped up from time to time, and it still might, but seldom is it evidenced in plot. Basically, he’s just a wealthier, stupider version of Ashton Kutcher — an attractive, pot-smoking, tech-loving rich guy looking for love. That last part — single men looking for love — is the one element of the original premise that remains, even though it’s the worst, for it’s the least revealing on behalf of character, instead relying on predictable rom-com beats as relationships start, fail, and rinse and repeat. The only thing that’s deployed uniquely here is his wealth — which is best exhibited in a midseason arc where he pretends to be poor to date a working girl. That storyline is successful because it also utilizes Alan and makes the two leads essentially role reverse their dynamic. Speaking of which, Alan is a full-on mooch now, and the show must frequently use winking “meta” humor to acknowledge how ridiculous their living arrangement is — often commenting on the absurdity, or playing to the idea that Alan and Walden are a de facto couple, something that will really come to be explicit in the final year… As for the “meta” humor, this will also increase, as the show’s overall sense of situation, and especially character, gets flimsier and flimsier, with Men — now down co-creator Lee Aronsohn — more willing than ever to do ANYTHING for a laugh… regardless of how it maintains the sanctity of the premise or these regulars. With regard to this season, I don’t think it’s necessarily worse than Nine in terms of episodic quality, but the storytelling is even rougher as far as sitcommery is concerned.
01) Episode 211: “One Nut Johnson” (Aired: 12/06/12)
Walden pretends to be poor to date a woman.
Teleplay by Chuck Lorre & Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer | Story by Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | Directed by James Widdoes
Season Ten’s first half doesn’t claim any stories that are capably predicated on the situation, including the characters. But things pick up here, with the start of an enjoyable arc discussed above — in which Walden pretends to be a poor working guy in order to date the earnest Kate (Brooke D’Orsay). It’s a solid idea because it plays against Walden’s primary characteristic — he’s a billionaire — and it’s the type of deceptive scheme that all the men on this series, from Charlie to Alan and now Walden, might use in their pursuit of a lady, were they in the same circumstance. However, what I most appreciate about this storyline is that it allows Alan to basically switch roles with Walden and pretend to be his wealthy benefactor — a notion that engages Alan’s growing definition as a leech, which is needed to help justify the living arrangement that’s upholding this era’s very existence. So, this is a decent way — or rather, the best this season can do — to explore the premise and these characters in comedic plot. And, as such, it has to be my pick for MVE (Most Valuable Episode); nothing else is as successful.
02) Episode 213: “Welcome To Alancrest” (Aired: 01/03/13)
Walden uses Alan to help fund Kate’s fashion dreams.
Teleplay by Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Susan McMartin | Story by Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Steve Tompkins | Directed by James Widdoes
The Walden/Kate arc continues in this funny entry that maximizes Alan’s involvement, with more winking but character-based humor about Alan and Walden’s dynamic, which they’re deliberately reversing so Walden can court a girl — a frequent motivator of story on Men. Also, I enjoy the return of Martin Mull as the pharmacist, a bit of continuity that grounds this series in its history, giving it some semblance of weight. One of Ten’s best. (Joel Murray appears.)
03) Episode 215: “Run, Steven Staven! Run!” (Aired: 01/31/13)
Alan, Walden, Herb, and Billy commiserate over their romantic troubles.
Teleplay by Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Steve Tompkins | Story by Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Susan McMartin | Directed by James Widdoes
There have been a handful of excursions throughout the years where the two main men and their friends, usually including Herb (Ryan Stiles), just get together and shoot the breeze as guys do, commiserating about their troubles with women, which have become an increasing focus for the series as it’s fallen prey to too many rom-com story maneuvers. This version of the idea involves Patton Oswalt’s recurring Billy, who has recently been dumped by Walden’s ex-wife, but it’s all familiar — and it’s affable largely because it feels like the kind of material that already makes sense within this show’s masculine-centric tenor. Willie Garson guests.
04) Episode 216: “Paint It, Pierce It, Or Plug It” (Aired: 02/07/13)
Jake comes home with a girlfriend twice his age.
Teleplay by Jim Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle | Story by Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky | Directed by James Widdoes
Future Mom regular — and former My Name Is Earl star — Jaime Pressly makes her first of two guest appearances here as Tammy, Jake’s girlfriend who is many years his senior. It’s a familiar sitcom yarn — the age-gap romance that strikes the others as uncomfortable — so it won’t gain any figurative points for originality. But the teleplay is amusing and elevated by the very presence of the very funny Pressly. And, it goes without saying, but I appreciate this for being one of Ten’s rare outings to at least earn the Two And A Half Men title and its implied premise, merely by clearing the low bar of having the “half man” actually in a room with the cast.
05) Episode 218: “Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries” (Aired: 02/21/13)
Walden reunites with his ex-wife.
Teleplay by Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Gemma Baker | Story by Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Nick Bakay | Directed by James Widdoes
A candidate for MVE, this offering stands out for two main reasons. First, it’s one of the few episodes after early Season Nine to actually acknowledge Walden’s initial characterization, which is explicitly addressed when he reunites with his ex-wife (Judy Greer), who tends to mother and infantilize him, thereby emphasizing his childlike demeanor. Accordingly, this is among the best Walden segments ever, for it writes him in a way that feels specific to him alone. Second, it also stands out because there are many jokes about Walden and Alan being a veritable couple (there’s a lot of this in upcoming seasons too) — a sort of “meta” gag that riffs on their weird living arrangement and also attempts to validate the strength of their friendship.
06) Episode 219: “The 9:04 From Pemberton” (Aired: 03/07/13)
Walden finally kicks Alan out of the house.
Teleplay by Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer | Story by Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | Directed by James Widdoes
This installment utilizes similar comedic notions as the above, only more goofily — with a story where Walden kicks out Alan and then comes to miss him. It’s a clichéd way to play up their bond, strengthening the idea that they’re best friends, which then explains the odd living arrangement. In this regard, I think the entry is meant to provide earned dramatic support to the situation, and I appreciate this, especially in a year that’s otherwise flimsy, often counteracting such efforts with “meta” jokes about the ridiculousness of the concept and the increasingly exaggerated depiction of Alan as a mega-mooch, along with the now-recurring comedic construct of Alan and Walden as a de facto romantic couple, which is also played up here when Herb and Walden “fight over” Alan. It’s tiresome, but well-intentioned.
07) Episode 220: “Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon” (Aired: 03/14/13)
Walden begins hanging out with a single Herb.
Teleplay by Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Susan McMartin | Story by Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Gemma Baker | Directed by James Widdoes
Ryan Stiles’ reliably amusing Herb is the sole reason this offering is notable enough to make my list, for this is easily one of his finest showings, as Herb befriends Walden and basically overtakes the guys’ Malibu mansion with his hardcore partying. There’s even a winking reference to Charlie Sheen — an example of this season’s fourth-wall-defying “meta” humor, which will nevertheless increase in the years ahead. But, regardless… with Herb heavily involved, this is obviously a laugh-heavy affair — and a solid episode for Men’s comic sensibilities.
08) Episode 221: “Bazinga! That’s From A TV Show” (Aired: 04/04/13)
Jake’s girlfriend is angry when he sleeps with her daughter.
Teleplay by Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | Story by Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | Directed by James Widdoes
Jaime Pressly returns in this outing that feels very much in the spirit of Men, as Jake’s girlfriend is furious at him for sleeping with her daughter. This is exactly the kind of thing that Charlie did and Alan might do — the morally depleted sexual hijinks that give the show its crass reputation and identity. Again, it’s not original, but it works for the series and is elevated by Pressly, along with guests Emily Osment and Scott Bakula — all gimmicky casting, yet genuinely additive.
09) Episode 223: “My Bodacious Vidalia” (Aired: 05/02/13)
Alan sleeps with a woman whose husband is in a coma.
Teleplay by Gemma Baker & Matt Ross & Max Searle | Story by Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | Directed by James Widdoes
Jon Cryer performs maybe his best physical comedy ever here, in a routine where Alan tries to take off a pair of body spanks, following a makeover that lands him back in the ritzy apartment of a ditzy blonde with him he’s about to have a tryst. It’s really worth the price of admission and enough to land the entry a spot on this list, but the story — of Alan hooking up with a woman while her husband is comatose in the next room — is peak deplorable and oversexed: a quintessential sample of Men’s comic ethos, especially in the Walden era, where the series seemingly has no lines it won’t cross. Very memorable. (Also, George Coe guests.)
10) Episode 224: “Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped” (Aired: 05/09/13)
Walden flirts with a woman’s grandmother, while Jake and Alan take a road trip.
Teleplay by Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | Story by Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer & Susan McMartin | Directed by James Widdoes
Season Ten closes with an episode designed to officially send off Jake (after Angus T. Jones publicly badmouthed the series), and because it intentionally seeks some closure in his relationship with Alan — even giving us a few Charlie references that are sincere as far as this era is willing to go — it has a dramatic heft that’s inherently more valuable for character and premise than most offerings here. But, of course, it ends on a fart joke — a lame gag that shows the type of humor Men is now eager to employ. Meanwhile, Walden dates a dumb girl (Hilary Duff), despite being attracted to her smart grandma, played by Marilu Henner. It’s mediocre — mostly because Walden doesn’t have enough of a personality to make such fare unique — but Alan is the focus of the series now, and he’s why I highlight this segment.
Other notable entries that merit mention include: “Something My Gynecologist Said,” where Jon Cryer dons old-age makeup and converses with the Alan character, and Walden gets a story whose comic ideas will be split and reused to greater effect later, along with the two episodes that guest star Miley Cyrus as a love interest for Jake, “You Do Know What The Lollipop’s For” and “Avoid The Chinese Mustard.” I’ll also take this space to cite “I Scream When I Pee,” where Kandi is back for a contrived triangle, and “Give Santa A Tail-Hole,” a Christmas-themed outing from the middle of the arc where Walden is feigning poverty.
Lastly, I hate these half hours but must address them — “Grab A Feather And Get In Line” features a random musical number that feels like a cheap stunt and is so indicative of Men’s current lack of good taste, and “Four Balls, Two Bats, And One Mitt” finds the series bringing Alan and Walden dangerously close to a threesome with the eager Lyndsey (an empty vessel who’s nevertheless adopted a coarse sensibility) — a sign of the show’s hyper-sexuality, which is so far removed from the characters that it’s even threatening their (and the premise’s) capacity for consistent believability. It’s a new low point for Two And A Half Men.
*** The MVE Award for the Best Episode from Season Ten of Two And A Half Men goes to…
“One Nut Johnson”
Come back next week for Season Eleven! And stay tuned for a new Wildcard Wednesday!